Pages

Monday, May 17, 2010

Your Opinion Please, Really


Had a great chat with a friend of mine last night. At one point he said, "I want more of your opinion on me. More honest criticism. I like the cheerleading and affirmation, but I need more criticism. It's valuable to me. I'm interested in what you have to say."

Being positive, affirming, optimistic, and generally nice is virtuous, to be sure. But if it's not tempered with genuine candor and thoughtful criticism, it's pretty shallow and empty.

Offering criticism requires a lot of courage- it puts both the giver in a pretty vulnerable spot.

"Maybe I'm making too big a deal out of this."
"What if they don't agree with my perspective?"
"If they keep it up, then I'll say something- maybe this is an isolated occurrence."
"It's not my place to call them out. If they want my opinion, they'll ask."
"If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all"
"Maybe it's just a matter of personality- it's probably not worth bringing up"

We have no problem talking ourselves out of providing criticism/feedback. It's far more comfortable to avoid it.

Here's a thought to ponder:

The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. ~ Norman Vincent Peale
Posted by Chris Nordyke at 7:01 AM
Labels: , ,

6 comments:

  1. COMPLETELY true. We all want everyone to stroke us instead of telling us what we could do to change the things that could improve EVERYONE'S experience with us as a business.
    I am guilty of giving too much input for improvement i think. It's just the way my brain works. I see something that could be tweaked and improved and i feel compelled to say something.
    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't hold back on my account. If you've ever got a tweak or improvement to share, please do. I'll promise to do the same. Thanks for commenting.
    ReplyDelete
  3. Guilty! It's not that I can't take criticism, it just depends on where it comes from. I find that I'm not very open to criticism from people who I think know less about the topic than I... even when they're right!
    ReplyDelete
  4. I totally agree Chris. The other person has to want it for it to be most effective. You have a relationship with your friend and they asked for candid feedback. That is the key.
    ReplyDelete
  6. Like John said, relationship is key. To receive criticism, the person has to know that you accept them apart from their flaws. That's only achieved through relationship.
    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)